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Bondage is a sexual practice that belongs to the BDSM scene. The submissive partner (sub) is tied up by the dominant partner (top) with handcuffs, ropes or scarves, so that he or she can't get free on his or her own. Sometimes the partner is also gagged.

Safety first - the rules of the game

Bondage must be clearly distinguished from the so-called vanilla sex (or flower sex). Vanilla sex is "normal" sex that often takes place in the missionary position. Although the limits are fluid and converge more and more, it can still happen that one partner crosses a line in the frenzy of passion that the other partner does not want to cross. Since even in BDSM practices the partner must not come to harm if he does not want to, a safe word is agreed upon between the people involved before the session (this is how the game of dominance and submission is called). If one of the two utters the word, then the game ends immediately. Such an approach is called Sane, Safe, Consensual (SSC). The partners involved pay attention to safety, use common sense, and act with mutual consent.

Bondage is a game and that's exactly how it should be handled. Stress and anger do not belong in it and should have no room here. Before it starts, it is convenient if the required items are already prepared. Depending on personal preferences, these can be handcuffs, a mask, gags, a cane, maybe even a vibrator. Nothing disturbs the game more than when the top suddenly has a good idea and cannot immediately carry it out because the items are not ready. It is also important to have the right clothes. Everyday clothes just don't fit BDSM. There are countless suitable clothing items to buy in sex stores and on the Internet. Leather articles in particular are great to fire up the desire . If you are trying bondage for the first time, you should not go in too hard. The game must be controlled so that no injuries (physical and emotional) occur. A start can be made by simply holding the sub's hands together. At the next session, these can then be loosely tied together. Afterwards, the respective experiences should be discussed. If the partner felt pleasure, then other harder games can be tried next time. If, on the other hand, the partner reacts with fear and uncertainty, then it makes sense not to go any further. The knots should be practiced in advance, because if the top tries for a long time to tie a reasonable knot, in the meantime, the mutual pleasure has usually withered away as well. The game is very varied and the partners should also take advantage of this. Many objects in the room can be used to chain the partner to them, and if you can't find a suitable object, you can of course tie his body parts together.

Bondage games

It is very important that the tied person should never be left alone. He can easily get strangled because of a badly or incorrectly fitted knot, suffer serious injuries and in extreme cases even death. Another safety aspect is to have bandages ready in case of emergency. It is also very good to have a spare key for the handcuffs in case the first one slips behind the mattress while making love. Bondage can be used as an exciting variation of making love or as hot foreplay. Afterwards, the couple can make love "normally".

Different bondage techniques

There are different ways of classifying bondage. Classification is made according to the type of technique used:

  • The body is bound together with ropes or handcuffs
  • The top spreads the body of the partner open with ropes
  • Tying to other objects (chairs, bed, St. Andrew's cross)
  • Suspension bondage
  • Restricting movement with a bondage skirt or corset
  • Wrapping the body with plastic wrap. Sometimes couples use a bondage bag or a similar item. This technique is called mummification in the scene.

Another classification is not based on the type of bondage, but rather on which rope technique is used. In some cases, the categories may overlap a bit.

  • In wrapping bondage, the ropes or cloths are simply wrapped around the body
  • A slightly more complicated technique is called weaving. First, the top puts a rope around the body in a zigzag shape and weaves it afterwards with a second one
  • The double rope technique works in a similar way. Here, the second rope also creates patterns on the body of the sub.
  • If the top ties up the sub with one rope, then this is called the single rope technique.

Japanese Bondage (Shibari)

In addition to the categories mentioned above, Japanese Bondage, also known as Shibari, is also very widespread in Western countries. This is not only about taking away or restricting the partner's freedom of movement, but also about aesthetics. People who are good at this technique create small works of art with it. The aim of the Shibari technique is often to emphasize the beauty of the (female) body. An important difference to western bondage lies in the ropes used. In western bondage there is no restriction on the type of ropes used, in shibari the couple primarily uses hemp or jute ropes. Before the ropes are used for the first time, they must be treated many times so that they become soft. To do this, they can be smeared with oil or flamed. A common way is to tie the ropes so that they are taut and then put them in the dryer for 15 to 20 minutes. In shibari, so-called panic hooks are often used, which are restraints that can be opened quickly even under heavy load. In addition, the shackling is often done on bamboo frames and with the involvement of wooden sticks.

Selfbondage

Another technique that is often used is self-bondage. This belongs to the field of self-eroticism, since a second partner is usually missing. This results in certain requirements, especially for safety, which must be strictly observed, since there is usually no one around who could help if there are problems. With any such bondage, care must be taken to ensure that the bonds can also be released. One possibility is not enough for this, there must always be several in case one does not work as planned. Under no circumstances should breathing be prevented during self-bondage. Likewise, care should be taken not to constrict the blood vessels too much, otherwise numbness may occur in the joints, making release even more difficult. Supporters of self-bondage distinguish between a so-called strict and a sensual approach. The sensual approach is less dangerous, because simple ways of freeing oneself are applied. In the strict self-bondage, the participant makes sure that he can release the bonds only after a certain time, even if he feels very uncomfortable in the meantime. The latter form is of course much riskier, but it is practiced by more people. Many people take a middle road by using a strict technique, but still incorporating ways to free themselves quickly when needed. The risk can also be reduced by letting someone know who will check on the bondage artist after a certain time has passed and free him or her if necessary.

Find a partner for bondage

Of course, these techniques are mostly practiced with the respective sexual partner. If you are currently looking for a partner and you are interested in this technique, you should not leave this unsaid when looking for a partner. Although these techniques are becoming more and more popular, there are of course also many people who reject it. If you don't talk about your inclination clearly before you first have sex, you can experience a big disappointment afterwards if your partner doesn't share this preference.

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